she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize