Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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