Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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