ugly people sure do ruin things
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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