It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Pooping to opera.
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