you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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