i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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