: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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