Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Be still, my beating vagina.
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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