That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize