I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
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you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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