would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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