maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize