For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize