Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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