i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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