remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
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I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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