this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just pee around me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize