Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize