You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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