All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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