1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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