It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
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I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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