i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Enjoy the penises
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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