Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize