I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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