it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize