This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
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I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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