I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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