So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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