no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im at strip club and am horny
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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