You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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