Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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