Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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