youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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