just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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