I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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