My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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