After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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