my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
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There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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