I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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