we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
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he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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