does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize