Who did Billy Mays play for?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize