I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize