so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
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no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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