i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i think my cat just said my name.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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