I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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