onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
my liver is dry heaving
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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