my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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